Did you really say what they say you said?
All those words I read in red?
How much of them are propaganda,
Meant to fit some neat agenda?
Should I believe everything I read?
Every jot and tittle–
How do I know what you said,
When though you’re alive–
It can feel like you’re dead?
There’s so much left out, so little left it seems,
To fill up my heart and inspire my dreams.
I want to know what you thought at night,
When the stars were out and the moon burned bright.
Were you afraid? Did you question your parents?
Did you think, “How the hell did I make the planets?
I’m just a boy, from a small dusty town.
How am I to be a king with a crown?”
Have you read what they wrote?
Their descriptions of you?
Please tell me Jesus
Do they ring true?
Did they say what you meant?
Did they bring their own slant?
Did they twist or omit or embellish away–
The true meaning of love or the way that you prayed?
When I read I often wonder what you were about–
Did you like to tell jokes? Where did you hang out?
I want to believe that your love is so true,
That you came to be with us–
That you make all things new.
But I have to be honest.
Sometimes I do doubt.
But I think you did too, so I can’t worry about
If they think that I’m crazy, they thought you were too.
I often sit and I puzzle until my puzzler is blue
And I wonder if you were too good to be true
Someday let’s hang out–
Repent or else!
Repent or else?
Or else what?
Is that a threat?
Love me or else.
Obey me or else.
I love you so much I laid down my life.
But I will hold my breath and throw a fit.
Lightning bolts and into the pit…
If you don’t love me back
If you don’t repent.
My love veils no threat.
It is not dependent
On what you do
My love, it carries no or else and
To be a part from you
Tears my being
And splits my heart
But I do not throw stones
I don’t push away
In the dark
On your bed
In the shards of your heart
Through the doubts in your head
I am there
In the air
In your dreams
In the wounds you bear
In your desires and
In your fears
In your questions
Laughter hiding tears
I don’t ever go away
I came near
Your wounds to share
Credit to the brilliant found object artist Michelle Stitzlein
I collect pieces of thoughts
On cocktail napkins
Like old hubcaps
Snippets of words
clipped out in my virtual brain
Make note of the humanity of pain
Scraps of my heart
Found on the sidewalk
And dirty thoughts
Dropped by passers by
That come in the twilight
Between sleep and wake
Loud words that you can’t even say
Picked up along the way
In dreams and poetry
When in the end we end up
There will never have been enough nights that I lied in your arms
When the moments of furious and sweet passion
I must wait to have with you again
Will I even be able to breathe?
No matter how many we share now they will never seem enough then
When in the end you are there and I am here
I am here
you are there
So in the while, whilst yet I breathe
Whilst your heart beats within your chest
I must savor the moments as they come and treat them with the
All consuming importance they deserve though I may be tempted to rest alone instead
I must treasure up every drop of passion our souls allow
On the wings of our quantum entanglement
So that when
We will have enough of the brilliance of our love to survive the night
And touch the dawn
Of the other side
hold me closer
i can’t feel you yet
i need to forget
or maybe to remember
that i’m not dead yet
please don’t let go
it is too much like dying
and i cant be without you right now
i can still see the box closing
on a friend too young to die
if you let me go
it feels like i may lose you
i cant live
Plumbing the depths
Exploring the edges
I know how Jesus must have felt
Confronted with the company he kept
It seems like the makings of family
And trembling I gaze in the face of
Imagining that this is what heaven is
Everyone and everything is as it
Should have been
make slow the clock
that measures out the time
of life I make with the partner of my heart
of love made, and songs sung, of laughter and the relief of being totally understood
of fleeting moments when magic exists and my breath stops
of heart swells that bring waves of love and the desperation to wring every glistening drop of life i can muster from my tininess
of enjoyment and experience of all made right and love that wins no matter the darkness it faces
make swift the clock
that measures out the time
of separation from the ones who comprise my heart
of hard talks, and hurt feelings, and the pain that comes from hearing hard things
of moments that make me feel like hope has lost
of hearts breaking because of injustices suffered, innocence lost and the discontent of brokenness
of hatred and the gulf of separation between us and them, you and me, heaven and human