Author: word of a woman

word of a womanhttps://wordofawoman.wordpress.comFinally feeling like myself after all these years.
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How to Get the Right Guy to Like You? Really???

Doesn’t this whole thing ENTIRELY miss the point?  It makes me want to sit my 9 year old daughter down tonight and say, “The goal of your life is NOT to get the “right guy” to like you.”

Sadly, I think that many people in and out of the church miss this point entirely.

The point, young women, is this:

1. Your worth as a woman is not about what kind of guy you can get to like you.

2. It is not your responsibility to “get a guy to respect you.”  It is your responsibility to be a woman of character. This does not guarantee men will respect you. Trust me.

[Ironic, in the video he says your self worth shouldn’t come from any guy you date when the whole video is about getting the “right guy” to like you.]

3. Be educated. About everything. Know your God, know your body, learn everything you can about every subject that interests you and many that don’t.

[I am totally for learning about what my husband likes and finding out why he likes it, but the video implies that guys like (and girls don’t like) things such as call of duty and football and only girls like shopping (I personally know people of both genders who disprove this type of thinking including my husband who likes football & shopping and not CoD).]

4. Don’t let your dreams be limited by your anatomy.

[a penis should not be required  for entry into any profession, vocation or discussion]

5. Your “highest calling” (I am not exactly sure what this means) may or may not be motherhood. It is rather becoming all that God created you to be. Which may include being a mother.

6. Go after life with gusto.

[in spite of the fact that some may call you pushy, domineering or worse]

7. Don’t even consider a man that doesn’t consider you his spiritual and intellectual equal.

8. Men have self control just like women do. They are responsible for their own sexual sins. We are equal in the eyes of God.

[Many simultaneously and erroneously believe that women are both the source of all sexual sin and somehow the gender that possesses the self control and even has the responsibility to say no to sex.]

9. Playing “hard to get” is a game and it is manipulation. Don’t play games in your relationships. Be honest, say what you feel. You don’t have to play “hard to get” to get the right guy to like you.

[Do you know what it means to play hard to get? http://www.wikihow.com/Play-Hard-to-Get%5D

10. Become a woman you would love to have as a friend, be interesting, be educated, be honest and treat everyone with love & respect, including yourself.

Full Speed Ahead.

I read something that made me stop and think this week. While I didn’t agree with every word of the article it really got me thinking. Check this out.

The fact is that, unless you’re a white, Christian, straight male, there’s little to look back to and say “yeah, I was better off back then.”…To call for a return to the good old days is, in some ways, a marginalization of those for whom history has meant progress. For the majority of Americans today, turning back the clock means losing ground, acceding power or opportunity and returning to a time of greater imbalance and division.

BAM! I never thought of this before, at least not in so many words. How is that possible? I tend to be a glass half full kind of gal. I find this statement while incredibly sad also to be a call to action and a statement that fills me with hope. It not only means we have made progress to this point but also that we can and must do even better. We must ensure that as my friend Stephen is fond of saying, the best is yet to come.

Which brings me to some practical points from the week regarding the advancement of women beginning with an article from the Los Angels Times called, Gender equity: Doing the math. It discusses a new study which found, “When girls do better in society, both sexes benefit. Gender equity is good for everybody…And boys and girls are becoming more equal, globally, in math performance”. The most surprising outcome of the study was “that the more equal the societies were around gender, the better everybody did in math”. This is a phenomenal thing. For years people have looked at women’s education and women’s advancement as a negative for boys, men and the family. The argument has been made that as girls have increasingly been brought into the educational establishment that the boys and men have suffered. However, as God originally intended, humanity working as a whole (male & female) means that women’s education and advancement is a win-win for both genders.

People have also looked at scientific history which assumed that men are better at math as a function of their genes since they consistently perform better as a gender in math and the sciences; however this study seems to suggest that men are better simply because societies have historically favored men in every area including education. God’s order of equality set out in the Genesis story (incidentally, I am not a new earth Creationist. I have not decided exactly what I am, but that is a post for another day. Rest assured, what I believe includes God and Science] and Galatians 3 lays out the precedent for the findings of this study. We are better together. The more gender equity in the society the better math scores are for BOTH genders.

Ah, but what about the family? What about the fabric of society? What about the children?

Just last week before our trip to Mexico I read an article while preparing to deliver the message at Novitas (listen to the podcast here). I didn’t end up using the information in the message but it turns out it is very useful here, Yay! The article was published by The Economist and is called, Women in the workforce: The importance of sex. In it the author states:

Some people fret that if more women work rather than mind their children, this will boost GDP but create negative social externalities, such as a lower birth rate. Yet developed countries where more women work, such as Sweden and America, actually have higher birth rates than Japan and Italy, where women stay at home. Others fear that women’s move into the paid labour force can come at the expense of children. Yet the evidence for this is mixed. For instance, a study by Suzanne Bianchi at Maryland University finds that mothers spent the same time, on average, on childcare in 2003 as in 1965. The increase in work outside the home was offset by less housework—and less spare time and less sleep.

What is clear is that in countries such as Japan, Germany and Italy, which are all troubled by the demographics of shrinking populations, far fewer women work than in America, let alone Sweden. If female labour-force participation in these countries rose to American levels, it would give a helpful boost to these countries’ growth rates. Likewise, in developing countries where girls are less likely to go to school than boys, investing in education would deliver huge economic and social returns. Not only will educated women be more productive, but they will also bring up better educated and healthier children.

This is not a post about working inside versus working outside the home. As far as that goes we all get to decide for ourselves. (Great article on this subject here). My point is simply that the fear that women advancing in society will cause men and children to lose out is simply false. If anything it is a benefit to all.

But what about divorce rates? Don’t they go up when women enter the workforce? According to a New York Times article from 2010:

While it’s widely believed that a woman’s financial independence increases her risk for divorce, divorce rates in the United States tell a different story: they have fallen as women have made economic gains. The rate peaked at 23 divorces per 1,000 couples in the late 1970s, but has since dropped to fewer than 17 divorces per 1,000 couples. Today, the statistics show that typically, the more economic independence and education a woman gains, the more likely she is to stay married. And in states where fewer wives have paid jobs, divorce rates tend to be higher, according to a 2009 report from the Center for American Progress.

And the blurring of traditional gender roles appears to have a positive effect. Lynn Prince Cooke, a sociology professor at the University of Kent in England, has found that American couples who share employment and housework responsibilities are less likely to divorce compared with couples where the man is the sole breadwinner.

The future is bright. There is still work to be done, in hearts, in governments, in marriage, in classrooms. I personally believe God always intended men and women to subdue the earth together. Humanity has always had two sides which together reflect the image of God and we work best and are benefited most when all of humanity works together to lift each other up, prefer the other over ourselves, and let love rule the day. There is a cry in the hearts of humans to be equal, to be free, to have justice, to be loved. I believe that is part of what it means to be fully and truly human. Humanity is made in the image of God.  As Jesus said, the kingdom of heaven is at hand. I choose to live in the kingdom where love, justice, freedom and equity are for all, where everything is made right. It is both already here and yet not here, but I pray the prayer Jesus taught me, “Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” As far as I can tell, I get to be a part of making that happen. That is why, I for one do not want to go back. I want to go forward. Full Speed Ahead!

Related articles

Jesus Loves Cosmo Girls.

It’s true, I am a Cosmo subscriber. I read it for the articles on sex. In fact that is pretty much the only reason I buy it. Oh, I might peruse the other pages occasionally looking at the latest fashion trends or hairstyles, but make no mistake I buy it for the sex tips. While I am sure this will shock the sensibilities of some of my readers, I suspect that many other women in the church will be calling me a “fun fearless female” (my fellow Cosmo readers will get the reference). Of course I do not always agree with everything I read in Cosmo, but that is true of almost everything I read. Since I began on this quest a couple years ago to *ahem* actively embrace my womanhood, I have started doing a lot of things to educate myself,  like hosting “let’s talk about sex” nights for the women I know (many of them followers of Jesus) who are longing for friends who are not afraid to talk openly and frankly about sex. I have also started reading lots of books; books about women and their position in society; books about women and their place in the church and ministry of Jesus; books about women and their relationships in marriage, their homes and their workplaces. I am also relatively certain that Novitas was the first church to ever have a Passion Party as a fund raiser for a mission trip. So all you fun fearless females out there, I hope this post encourages you to educate yourselves not only about your sexuality, but also about who you are as a person and as a follower of Jesus. Go ahead, pull out your most recent issue of Cosmo or maybe a copy of Why Not Women? by Loren Cunningham and don’t be ashamed. Be an Ashat Chail (woman of valor)! Sex (within marriage) is a beautiful thing. Education is a beautiful thing. Becoming who you were always meant to be is a very beautiful thing.

Swing Wide the Prison Doors.

It’s freedom for the disillusioned because now we get to enjoy the richness of relationship with the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit without any intermediary or filter. I get to follow Jesus, not you. I get to be part of community that is rich and full. This flattened hierarchy thing that freaks so many people out? It’s actually pretty awesome.

This disillusionment pushed me away from revering you or heroes of the faith or mystics or doctrine purveyors or models or churches. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m still wanting to learn from all of you. But it drove me to the true example, the true Shepherd, the true Father. In this new world, I can embrace you as a true man – or woman – after God’s own heart, flawed, moving forward as we all are towards our true renewed selves with open hearts to God.

Now, when I hear of you falling or a few skeletons in your closet, my heart is free to break for you and your own need for our Abba. I’m no hypocrite and my turn may be coming. I can make my response this time all about you, to love you, to be there for you, no judgements, only grace and second chances – imagine that.

As disillusionment spreads – and clearly, it is spreading – I wonder if it spells freedom for you.

Today one of the bloggers I read regularly, Sarah Bessey who blogs at Emerging Mummy, penned these words on another blog called Deeper Story. You can read the whole blog post at either of these links.

Her post today makes the assertion that disillusionment with the traditional church leadership model is a good thing. The definition of disillusion is “to destroy the false but pleasant beliefs.” This is a very good and important thing. For so many in the position of lead pastor (or whatever your particular flavor of christianity calls the “lead dude (usually) in charge), the job that most originally seek out because they feel the call of God or because they want to help people, soon becomes a prison.

A prison not made of bars of steel, but judgement, perfectionism, unrealistic expectations and a plethora of other ungodly expectations. In a survey of pastors by Barna, they found:

  • 1500 pastors leave the ministry each month due to moral failure, spiritual burnout, or contention in their churches.
  • 50% of pastors’ marriages will end in divorce.
  • 80% of pastors feel unqualified and discouraged in their role as pastor.
  • 50% of pastors are so discouraged that they would leave the ministry if they could, but have no other way of making a living.
  • 80% of seminary and Bible school graduates who enter the ministry will leave the ministry within the first five years.
  • 70% of pastors constantly fight depression.
  • Almost 40% polled said they have had an extra-marital affair since beginning their ministry.
  • 70% said the only time they spend studying the Word is when they are preparing their sermons.

The system is broken. I agree with Sarah. Disillusionment with this system is a good thing. No, a Godly thing. No one man (or woman) should be given that much power, or have that much pressure placed on them. It is impossible to live up to. In her recent post, Dear Pastor, Tell Us the Truth, Rachel Held Evans wrote a letter that holds the key to swing wide the prison doors for pastors and their families…TRUTH.

Tell us the truth.

Tell us the truth when you don’t know the answers to our questions, and your humility will set the example as we seek them out together.

Tell us the truth about your doubts, and we will feel safe sharing our own.

Tell us the truth when you get tired, when the yoke grows too heavy and the hill too steep to climb, and we will learn to carry one another’s burdens because we started with yours. 

Tell us the truth when you are sad, and we too will stop pretending.

Tell us the truth when your studies lead you to new ideas that might stretch our faith and make us uncomfortable, and those of us who stick around will never forget that you trusted us with a challenge.

Tell us the truth when your position is controversial, and we will grow braver along with you.

Tell us the truth when you need to spend time on your marriage, and we will remember to prioritize ours.

Tell us the truth when you fail, and we will stop expecting perfection.

Tell us the truth when you think that our old ways of doing things need to change, and though we may push back, the conversation will force us to examine why we do what we do and perhaps inspire something even greater.

Tell us the truth when you fall short, and we will drop our measuring sticks.

Tell us the truth when all that’s left is hope, and we start digging for it.

Tell us the truth when the world requires radical grace, and we will generate it. 

Tell us the truth even if it’s surprising, disappointing, painful, joyous, unexpected, unplanned, and unresolved, and we will learn that this is what it means to be people of faith.

Tell us the truth and you won’t be the only one set free.

Love,

The Congregation

Invitation to Dance.

So you think you can dance – Fix you – Robert & Allison from Laura U on Vimeo.

Ever see a dance so sad and beautiful and painful that it made you cry?

This morning my friend Kris Irvin posted the following as his status.

I’m a Christian, I love Jesus, but I am not alright. I am sick of the facade. I am disgusted at what “christianity” has made me think that I have to be. I hear songs about God turning mourning into dancing, about him taking away all of our pain and sorrows. It just isn’t true. Is it possible, yes, but not the norm. I don’t want to be emotionless, I want to cry, I want to hurt, I want pain, these things are real to me. I also want joy, peace, comfort. I want to be human, because God made me human. He gave me these emotions and I want to embrace them. No one wants their parents to tell them to stop crying when they are in pain and hurting, they want them to hold them close. I want God to hold me close.
Shit happens and let’s be honest, life NEVER seems fair, and I don’t want to act like it is. No more facade, no more smiles to hide the pain. I embrace what God has made me and I hold onto the fact that sometimes it isn’t just going to be all better right away.
And when sorrow can’t rejoice, he holds me close.

This is truth. Naked, beautiful, honest, ugly truth.

Shortly after I read his post The CBE Scroll arrived in my inbox. It said in part:

God tells us that when we want an accurate picture of himself, we should look at his Son whom he sent as a tangible representation of Divinity; transcendence made flesh; God made human. In Scripture, I find that Christ was moved deeply by feeling. He was filled with compassion, love, loyalty, hope, and sometimes even righteous anger. Christ’s emotions moved him to be surrounded by the sick, the dirty, and the poor. His emotions led him to wash his friends’ feet, and weep when his friend Lazarus died. He told us to love one another, act with compassion, to be merciful. Christ was anything but a numb, distant, and “thick skinned” leader. Christ felt things, and he felt them deeply.

Years ago, at a workshop which is now called The Encounter, Derek Watson said, “Why do you laugh in the face of what sorrow brings?”
It is a brilliant question. I learned later that Derek was actually quoting the great Bob Dylan in his song, What Good Am I. The last verse says,

What good am I if I say foolish things
And I laugh in the face of what sorrow brings
And I just turn my back while you silently die
What good am I?

You can read the lyrics or listen to the full song here.

When I was in theater in high school, our teacher Mr. Avery (or just Avery, as we used to call him) would remind us that when things were particularly sad or tense or difficult not to be surprised when the audience laughed. Why is that do you suppose? Is it our mask, is it our upbringing, or is it just the voice in our head that calls us weak?

In Romans 12:15, Jesus asks us to rejoice with the rejoicing and weep with the weeping. He asks us to entwine our hearts with those around us so that they beat to the same music.  So that the music of life, the rise and fall, rise and fall of the driving happy beats and the sorrowful moans of the cello become the soundtrack by which we live and breathe. And when “sorrow can’t rejoice, he holds [us] close.” We need to allow our feet to move to the beat of the music of the heart we are entwined with and allow our arms to encircle our brother or sister who in their sorrow just simply needs to be held and know they are not alone.

Jesus, Kris and Dylan, thank you for the invitation to dance.

Tattoo

I have often thought if I were going to get a tattoo it would be words, just words. Words are amazingly, shatteringly, stunningly powerful, playful, hurtful, inspiring things. The problem with tattoos is they are painful and I don’t like pain. And they are permanent, and frankly I think I would end up changing my mind. But, if I were getting a tattoo for today to put into words my motto for the year, it would say, “Aishet Chayil”.  Which means, woman of valor. I will not be making individual resolutions this year. Instead my singular resolution is to to tap in to the dreams God has placed in my heart that I have only begun to discover. To grab on to the corners of life and shake them as Anis Mogjani says in his famous poem. To “shake the dust” off of them and finally believe the resounding beat of my heart that echoes the very words God speaks over me and all my sisters…Aishet Chayil!

So this year, is not about what I will do or what I will have but rather what I will be. I will be strong. I will be courageous. I will be a dreamer. I will be a lover. And in so doing, I will embrace all God has for me. Hang on heart, I am feeling the urge to “shake the dust.”

We Are Not Alone

At the Novitas Sunday gatherings we have been doing corporate readings the last couple months. It connects us to the liturgy of the church and all the followers of Jesus who have come before us and built on His foundation to bring us to this point in history and it connects us to all those who will build on long after we are gone. There have been many creeds written throughout church history. The creed we read yesterday was the newest one we have found and it was originally adopted in 1968 by the United Church of Canada’s 23rd General Council. I want to share it with you because it is the one that has spoken to me the most deeply.

A NEW CREED

We are not alone,
    we live in God's world.

We believe in God:
    who has created and is creating,
    who has come in Jesus,
       the Word made flesh,
       to reconcile and make new,
    who works in us and others
       by the Spirit.

We trust in God.

We are called to be the Church:
    to celebrate God's presence,
    to live with respect in Creation,
    to love and serve others,
    to seek justice and resist evil,
    to proclaim Jesus, crucified and risen,
       our judge and our hope. In life, in death, in life beyond death,
    God is with us.
We are not alone.    Thanks be to God.

At Novitas, we like to say we are a community of people dedicated to loving God and caring for people ALL people. Vital to this is the knowledge that we are not alone. Isn’t that what most of us need? There was a line in the movie Shall We Dance? where Susan Sarandon‘s character says, ”We need a witness to our lives.  There’s a billion people on the planet, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you’re promising to care about everything.  The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things, all of it, all of the time, every day.  You’re saying ‘Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it.  Your life will not go unwitnessed because I will be your witness’.” This has always stuck with me. I think it is true in marriage and true in the body of Christ. What most of us want is someone who will be there with us through it all. To love no matter what.

We also sang a son called Hold My Heart by Tenth Avenue North. The chorus goes like this:

One tear in the driving rain,
One voice in a sea of pain
Could the maker of the stars
Hear the sound of my breaking heart?
One life, that’s all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If You’re everything You say You are
Would You come close and hold my heart

The good news is God has not left us alone. He didn’t come to condemn the world but to save it. He didn’t stay far away, he came near. He became one of us so we could be part of him. All of us. He loves all. He loves you. Susan’s character asks, “what does any one life mean? Jesus says, everything. Today he says, your tears will not go unnoticed because I will notice them. I will hold your heart while it breaks. I will be with you forever until ALL things are made right.  Make no mistake, love transforms people.  Love changes the world. Love wins.


			

	
	



			
				


		

		
Some are More Equal than Others
	


		

		
Today I received the latest e-newsletter from Christians for Biblical Equality (subscribe here, current issue here). It is always filled with good informative articles. Also, their quarterly academic journal Priscilla Papers are an amazing resource.


Anyway, as I was reading it over today, I came across a quote from a blog on Red Letter Christians by Jenny Rae Armstrong (read the blog post here) who said,


According to the Centers for Disease Control, one out of every four girls has been sexually molested by the time she turns 14. (Stop for a moment and let that sink in. One in four of our precious little girls.) One in six women has been a victim of attempted or completed rape in her lifetime, and approximately 7.8 million women have been raped by a boyfriend, husband, or significant other. According to estimates from the US Department of Justice, fewer than half of all rapes are reported to the police, and only one out of twenty rapists ever spends a day in jail for their crimes.


What this tells me is that the problem isn’t histrionic shepherdesses crying wolf. Most of them never even make a peep. The real problem is that the flocks are teeming with wolves, and women are afraid to speak up for fear of getting their throats torn out. Liar. Hussy. Shameful. Slut. Everyone will hate you if you tell.


Too often, we’re proving the wolves right.


Friends, sexual harassment is a serious issue. As Christians, we need to stop minimizing these evils and listen carefully to what the victims have to say. Even when it costs us something. Even when it makes us uncomfortable. And rest assured, it probably will.


1 in 4 before 14, 1 in 6 in her lifetime, fewer than half are reported to authorities & only 1 in 20 spends time in jail. And this is in the United States. This got me to thinking about the state of violence against women world-wide. I wasn’t going to post all the numbers but then I couldn’t decide which to cut so here is most of the article available from The United Nations:


Violence against women and girls is a problem of pandemic proportions. Based on country data available, up to 70 percent of women experience physical or sexual violence from men in their lifetime — the majority by husbands, intimate partners or someone they know.


Among women aged between 15 and 44, acts of violence cause more death and disability than cancer, malaria, traffic accidents and war combined. Perhaps the most pervasive human rights violation that we know today, violence against women devastates lives, fractures communities, and stalls development.


It takes many forms and occurs in many places — domestic violence in the home, sexual abuse of girls in schools, sexual harassment at work, rape by husbands or strangers, in refugee camps or as a tactic of war.


Femicide


In the United States, one-third of women murdered each year are killed by intimate partners.

In South Africa, a woman is killed every 6 hours by an intimate partner.

In India, 22 women were killed each day in dowry-related murders in 2007.

In Guatemala, two women are murdered, on average, each day.


Trafficking


Women and girls comprise 80 percent of the estimated 800,000 people trafficked annually, with the majority (79 percent) trafficked for sexual exploitation.


Harmful Practices


Approximately 100 to 140 million girls and women in the world have experienced female genital mutilation/cutting, with more than 3 million girls in Africa annually at risk of the practice.

More than 60 million girls worldwide are child brides, married before the age of 18, primarily in South Asia (31.1 million and Sub-Saharan Africa (14.1 million).


Sexual Violence against Women and Girls


An estimated 150 million girls under 18 suffered some form of sexual violence in 2002 alone.

As many as 1 in 4 women experience physical and/or sexual violence during pregnancy which increases the likelihood of having a miscarriage, still birth and abortion.

Up to 53 percent of women physically abused by their intimate partners are being kicked or punched in the abdomen.

In Sao Paulo, Brazil, a woman is assaulted every 15 seconds.

In Ecuador, adolescent girls reporting sexual violence in school identified teachers as the perpetrator in 37 percent of cases.


Rape as a method of warfare


Approximately 250,000 to 500,000 women and girls were raped in the 1994 Rwandan genocide.

In eastern Democratic Republic of Congo, at least 200,000 cases of sexual violence, mostly involving women and girls, have been documented since 1996, though the actual numbers are considered to be much higher.


Cost of Violence against Women


Domestic violence alone cost approximately USD 1.16 billion in Canada and USD 5.8 billion in the United States. In Australia, violence against women and children costs an estimated USD 11.38 billion per year.


Sexual Harassment


Between 40 and 50 percent of women in European Union countries experience unwanted sexual advancements, physical contact or other forms of sexual harassment at their workplace.

In the United States, 83 percent of girls aged 12 to 16 experienced some form of sexual harassment in public schools.


Church, this should NOT be so. Therefore, it is my commitment to in my corner of the world to say no more. I will encourage women to come forward. I will defend them against those who would call them “Liar. Hussy. Shameful. Slut.” and I will resist the ugly place in my heart that would call them that myself.


There is a concept called synchronicity which is according to dictionary.com, “an apparently meaningful coincidence in time of two or more similar or identical events that are causally unrelated.” I experienced this today when I first saw the Arise Newsletter. I immediately thought of our Novitas life group discussion from last night about helping our community by volunteering at Brighter Tomorrows (a local battered women’s shelter). I am more committed than ever to volunteer at this shelter in some capacity in the coming year. The church must be an agent for change on behalf of women where violence is concerned whenever and wherever possible.


Sadly, the church has a less than stellar record when it comes to its stance on violence against women. Even though (I would hope) most people would say they are staunchly opposed to all violence against women, too often women are told if they would just do a better job of submitting, their husband wouldn’t hit them or emotionally abuse them. Or worse yet, a popular book on submission “Created to Be His Helpmeet” which says on Page 270: [In a discussion of enduring abuse in silence:] “Women who threaten to report him to the law,’… are rebellious. They will never make it to the hall of fame found in Hebrews 11, where Sara was listed, nor will they make it into a heavenly marriage here on earth. They will go to their graves unloved and uncherished, a total failure as the woman God called them to be.” In a book I read last year by J Lee Grady, 10 Lies the Church Tells Women,  he discusses a comprehensive study done in the mid 80’s by clinical psychologist Jim M. Alsdurf (Fuller Theological Seminary) in which 5700 Protestant pastors in the U.S. and Canada were surveyed. The study found:


    

  • 26% said they normally tell a woman who is abused by her husband that she should continue to submit to him “and to trust that God would honor her action by either stopping the abuse or giving her the strength to endure it.”
    • 

  • About 25% said a lack of submissiveness in the wife is what triggered the violence in the first place.
    • 

  • 71% said they would never advise a battered wife to leave her husband or separate because of abuse
    • 

  • 92% said they would never counsel a battered wife to seek divorce.
    • 



Shocking. I have even heard of women who were told that even if their husband’s abuse results in her death that God will reward her for her obedience. Oh, hell no. I think that makes God sick. I just envision him screaming through his tears, “NO! NO! NO!”  I can only hope that these numbers have changed dramatically in the last 30 years. Sadly, it is my fear that they have not. Books continue to come out and people continue to preach doctrines that implicitly if not explicitly teach that women are equal to men in the same way that the pigs in George Orwell’s Animal Farm so eloquently put it, “All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others.”


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Crazy Amazing Design.
	


		

		


Finally a Christian who appreciates good design! Not that he is the only one, but sometimes it feels that way. DO yourself a favor and check out the work of Jim LePage TODAY! His work may make you angry, his work may make you stand up and cheer but most of all it WILL make you think. You will think not only about the Bible and what it says, the good, the bad and the ugly, it will also make you think, “this guy is a crazy amazing, ballsy design super hero!”

http://jimlepage.com/word-designs/

			

	
	



			
				


		

		
Why Word of a Woman?
	


		

		
I have a strong dislike for journaling. Recently, however, I have felt the words in my heart banging around and pressing against the edges begging to be released; to fly free; to find their homes in the hearts of others. This is a strange feeling for me. For the first time, I really believe I have something to say. Something that needs to be said. Something that has been birthed in me. I am ready to remove the shackles I have placed on myself and untie the weights I have placed on my words to keep them from flying away like so many untethered balloons.


Why the title Word of a Woman? Throughout history the word (or testimony) of a woman has been suspect at best. A couple of examples if you will:


    

  • In ancient Jewish law the testimony of a woman was inadmissible in court.
    • 

  • The Talmud, in the third chapter of Sanhedrin, delineates the rules governing who may provide written or oral testimony. A valid witness in a Jewish Beit Din must be an adult (see Bar Mitzvah) free man, not a woman or a slave, and not be related to any of the other witnesses or judges. The witness must be an honest person who can be trusted not to lie.  (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Testimony_in_Jewish_law)
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  • In Sharia law a woman’s testimony is counted as half as valuable as a man’s testimony because women are “human beings who are governed by their emotions”. (http://www.islamic-sharia.org/general/on-the-testimony-of-women-2.html)
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  • (before you feel too smug my fellow Americans) Although women were granted the right to vote in 1920, they were excluded from serving on juries either by being encouraged to opt out or being required to opt in by writing a letter saying you wanted to be considered for duty. This was in fact the practice in some states until as late as 1975!
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In steps Jesus. He totally blows this male dominated thinking out of the water. On the most important day in human history, the day of his resurrection, he chose TWO WOMEN to be his first witnesses. This was earth shattering and mind blowing for the times in which they lived. Society, history and tradition said the Word of a Woman meant nothing. Jesus said it meant something. By choosing them he said the Word of a Woman had value, it could be trusted, it was (gasp) as good as a man’s. This is good news for men as well as for women. For millennia women have been marginalized and a full half of the voices in the world discounted. This is NOT what God intended for humanity when he made us male and female reflecting his full glory TOGETHER.  In the words of Paul in Galations 3:28, “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”


I come from an Evangelical background. I am a firm follower of Christ. I know today that Jesus made me in the image of God and that what I have to say is just as valuable as what my husband has to say, not more, not less. But, somewhere along the line I learned what was expected of me. Somewhere I learned how to filter myself. I know when and where it is acceptable for me to speak freely. I know when what I say may cause a ruckus, simply because of my gender.  Not just at church but in every situation social or business related, how to be what is expected of me as a proper lady. It is a fine line and a struggle to walk it, to know how to be strong and stand up for yourself and not be perceived as bitchy, to have your own opinion and not be perceived as domineering.  Today I have decided to be comfortable being labeled by some as “one of those women” to keep your wife away from. I don’t seek out this title, but I am no longer afraid of it. I will become what Jesus would have me to become. I am his witness. He values my testimony and finally I am starting to as well.


So here we are, Word of a Woman. Perhaps it seems like an odd name. It does to me. But I hope that by letting it fly, as it were, my words will inspire the voices of other women and men to be released and to fly free.




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