How to Get the Right Guy to Like You? Really???

Doesn’t this whole thing ENTIRELY miss the point?  It makes me want to sit my 9 year old daughter down tonight and say, “The goal of your life is NOT to get the “right guy” to like you.”

Sadly, I think that many people in and out of the church miss this point entirely.

The point, young women, is this:

1. Your worth as a woman is not about what kind of guy you can get to like you.

2. It is not your responsibility to “get a guy to respect you.”  It is your responsibility to be a woman of character. This does not guarantee men will respect you. Trust me.

[Ironic, in the video he says your self worth shouldn’t come from any guy you date when the whole video is about getting the “right guy” to like you.]

3. Be educated. About everything. Know your God, know your body, learn everything you can about every subject that interests you and many that don’t.

[I am totally for learning about what my husband likes and finding out why he likes it, but the video implies that guys like (and girls don’t like) things such as call of duty and football and only girls like shopping (I personally know people of both genders who disprove this type of thinking including my husband who likes football & shopping and not CoD).]

4. Don’t let your dreams be limited by your anatomy.

[a penis should not be required  for entry into any profession, vocation or discussion]

5. Your “highest calling” (I am not exactly sure what this means) may or may not be motherhood. It is rather becoming all that God created you to be. Which may include being a mother.

6. Go after life with gusto.

[in spite of the fact that some may call you pushy, domineering or worse]

7. Don’t even consider a man that doesn’t consider you his spiritual and intellectual equal.

8. Men have self control just like women do. They are responsible for their own sexual sins. We are equal in the eyes of God.

[Many simultaneously and erroneously believe that women are both the source of all sexual sin and somehow the gender that possesses the self control and even has the responsibility to say no to sex.]

9. Playing “hard to get” is a game and it is manipulation. Don’t play games in your relationships. Be honest, say what you feel. You don’t have to play “hard to get” to get the right guy to like you.

[Do you know what it means to play hard to get?

10. Become a woman you would love to have as a friend, be interesting, be educated, be honest and treat everyone with love & respect, including yourself.

10 thoughts on “How to Get the Right Guy to Like You? Really???

  1. Nette0727 says:

    Poor guy tried to have some good points (focusing on respecting yourself and not being wrapped up in Hollywood) So Ill give him that. I think as women we have to do our part and be the people who God called us to be and not get so wrapped up in finding “the right guy”. Biggest thing: educate yourself and don’t limit yourself!!

  2. emily says:

    Goodness. I don’t think I understand your outrage on this. Seems to me that his message to girls about being who they are and not trying to strive for some unattainable hollywood ideal is healthier than the message they would get from other places like, maybe…Cosmo? 😉

    I agree with most of your points, Michelle. But I also agree with most of his. I believe that both perspectives have value.

    • Emily,
      Thanks for your response!
      The video does not outrage me but rather makes me shake my head a little. I do agree that not everything he says in the video is bad. But I do take issue with the concept of the video itself, namely that it is a girls responsibility to get the right kind of boy to like her, which implies if the wrong kind of boys like her or no boys like her at all that she is doing something wrong. My point is just this, a girl’s or woman’s value is not determined by whether or not the “right boy” likes her. Given that I find the video to be based on a false premise, the few things he says of value are placed in the wrong context. If something is the right thing to do, you should do it because it is right not because it will get the “right boy” to like you. Do you see the distinction?

  3. Michelle, I am glad you are influencing my daughter instead of this dude. He comes across as arrogant, pompous, and certainly not gentle like our Lord. Your top 10 list, however, is amazing. Thank you for making us all think. By the way, Emily, why does the choice have to be this immature dude or Cosmo? Michelle’s article on Cosmo wasn’t about how to get the right guy to like you. And I don’t believe she encouraged any young girls to read Cosmo, either. The comment, while clever, seems inapt. But I love you and am happy you are reading the blog and dialoguing about important matters!

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