Memes the Word.

Have you seen this meme? Probably.

What about this one?

Probably not since I just made it.

I wonder why?

We had  7 olympic women under 18 who won gold in the London games.

Claressa Shields, 17,  gold, boxing
Gabrielle Douglas, 16,  gold, gymnastics
Jordyn Wieber, 17, gold, gymnastics
Katie Ledecky, 15, gold, swimming
Kyla Ross, 15, gold,  gymnastics
McKayla Maroney, 16, gold, gymnastics
Missy Franklin, 17, gold, swimming

I know what you may be thinking and no, I don’t think it is a racial thing, after all Clarissa Shields (17) is also African American and I have seen no such meme’s about her. Maybe because she is a boxer? I really have no idea. Perhaps it is a play on the name of the popular MTV show 16 and Pregnant. But then why not  McKayla Maroney?  Who knows. Maybe it is because Gabby is more popular, being the winner of the individual all around gold. Maybe for some other reason.

Also, why are there no meme’s of a teenage male olympian that say, “16 and a champion. Not 16 and a baby daddy?”
Just sayin’.

All that said, I am sure the meme of Gabby Douglas was made by someone who was well meaning and wanted to make it as sort of an “atta girl”. I know it was posted by some of my friends for that very reason. And while I appreciate that they may not have meant anything by it, why do we need to turn this young woman’s achievement into a PSA to prevent teen pregnancy? What is it about humans that want to turn one woman’s achievement into an opportunity to shame an entirely different group of women.

“Wow! That meme about Gabby Douglas I saw on Facebook is birth control enough for me!”, said no teenager with raging hormones ever.

This is the question I try to ask myself before reposting a meme (or anything else for that matter)…What message does it send to my friends if I repost this?

  • Do I want my friends to see me as self righteous? (Gabby and I are so much better than that, we aren’t/weren’t teen moms.)
  • Judgmental? (Teen moms aren’t very smart, weren’t dedicated to a sport, are undisciplined, slept around, etc.)
    (Incidentally I would be willing to bet everything I own, especially given the condom count in olympic village, that not every single olympian is abstinent.)
  • Hypocritical? (How many of us had sex before we turned 18 and were just blessed enough not to get pregnant?)

We must stop and ask ourselves…

  • What if one of my friends had an abortion as a teenager?
  • What if one of my friends has a teen daughter who is pregnant or a teen son who is going to be a father?
  • What if one of my friends was a teen mom/dad?

Is this really the message of love I want to send to them? Will this make them feel more or less likely to turn to me for help if they need it?

I know I have friends who will read this who have posted this meme. Please forgive me if you feel attacked here. That is not my goal.
My goal is for all of us to consider how the little things we post may affect our friends and our ability to love them the way we intend to…myself included.


Dear Victims of Rape and Sexual Abuse

This letter was written by my friend Alex Trim. It made me cry. I think this is a message everyone needs to hear so I asked Alex if I could share it with you.

Dear Victims of Rape and Sexual Abuse,

It was not your fault. You did not ask for it in any way, shape, or form. Your skirt or shorts were not too short, your jeans were not too tight. You were not showing too much cleavage. You were not flirting, and you did not consent. If you were drugged, or beaten, that was not a mistake you made. God Loves you. I Love you. Prayers are made often and with Sincerity.

You are Beautiful. You are not Ugly. You are Loved. You are not a Whore. You mean Something. Your are not Damaged Goods. You have a Purpose. You are not a Waste. You are held with a view of Pride and Joy by Many. You are not an Object of Lust for Few. You are not a Trophy, nor a Prize. You are a Specially made, Wondrous Creature of God.

No Shame. No Guilt. No Excuses. No Blame. No Heartache.

You are Strong. You are Woman. Live like you own the Power you already Wield.