Until we begin to recognize that most rapists are not the “monsters” we imagine.
Until we realize that most rapists are not the ones lurking in bathrooms wearing dresses.
Until we admit that most rapists are not found in white panel vans snatching unsuspecting women as they walk down the street.
Make no mistake, these types of rapists exist. But they are far from the majority.
Most rapists… look like, talk like, work like, go to school like, play sports like, are in plays like, eat snacks like…our sons, our brothers, our friends or the kid next door.
Most rapists are known to the women they rape. Most of them you wouldn’t guess in a million years are rapists by looking at their resumes, box scores, lap times, report cards, wardrobe or faces.
And my friends, that is the problem.
Until we recognize that it is possible for our sons to be the ones who grow up to do these things we will not do what is necessary to educate them.
So have a conversation.
Explain consent. (To your sons AND your daughters – men can be raped too)
Talk about specific situations, including ones involving alcohol (especially one’s involving alcohol). For example: a drunk partner should be tucked into bed and left alone no matter how horney you are.
Just telling kids they can avoid all this by waiting until they are married to have sex is not enough.
Thinking it would never be your kid is not enough. No one thinks it will be their kid.