I really think these kind of memes and things we say to each other in hard times make things worse and not better.
For example, I can’t very well say this to my friend whose son was born with cancer and has had to live with pain and treatment for his entire eight-year-old life. I would sound like a colossal jerk.
My theory is that they make the person who is not suffering feel better somehow. I think perhaps it gives them a sense of security that they themselves will never be in a similar situation. And that if they are, there will be an easy answer to help them through it.
But, let me tell you, it is a false sense of security.
I am with Tim Lawrence on this one. “Some things in life cannot be fixed. They can only be carried.” And the people who help the most, are not the people who give you not-so-easy, non-answers but rather the people who just show up and help you carry them.
by Tim Lawrence