In defense of the F-word. WARNING: GRAPHIC LANGUAGE (duh.)

Don’t throw your verses at my sins like stones.
My Jesus ain’t your sword.
Your scripture bombs don’t work on me.
My bindings have been torn
Your flaming tongue can’t touch me now.
My standing has been set.
I don’t need you to approve.
I’m not your fucking pet.

Don’t say my sin turns Christ away
He touched the lepers’ sores
Don’t tell me he can’t stand by sin
He crashed tradition’s mores
His insane love fills in my gaps
His righteousness my own
Keep your judgement to yourself
His grace to me he’s shown

Keep your righteous indignation please
that turns people away
I can’t look you in the face
When with people’s soul’s you play
You cover your ass when things go bad
Instead of coming near.
You protect what’s yours when faced with truth
Actions that come from fear.

Throw your body on the flames
to protect the threatened child
Bring cold water as a drink
to those convicted in trial.
Cover and feed, Defend those in need
Break down your prison wall
Let those who need a doctor in
Isn’t that us all?

Sometimes life is too fucking hard. This was that kind of week. I have friends who are in pain; the kind of pain that denies purpose and defies explanation. I have another friend who was told that her worship was not equal to theirs because of who she loves and her perceived sins.

We had a discussion in the car the other night about swearing or cursing and specifically “the F-word.” Some people are of the mind that there is never a time to use the F-word. And although I believe it to be vastly overused, it is my contention that there is absolutely a time to utter a well placed F-bomb. Let’s-be-face-it* lovelies, there is a time when saying “that is messed up” just doesn’t get the job done.

Fuck is the most powerful word in my personal lexicon that I am willing to use. I don’t use the C-word nor do I use the N-word because they demean people no matter the context. One reduces a person to their skin color and one reduces a person to their body parts. But I’ll tell you what, when the love of your life dies, when your leg is blown off by an IED, when your child has been abused… “That fucking sucks!” might be the most loving thing someone can say to you.

There is a song by Billy Falcon that sums it up perfectly. It is called When and you can and should listen to it here:

Did you watch?

“Sometimes life is so fuckin’ unfair…” Yes it is Billy. Yes. It. Is.

* Let’s-be-face-it is a term coined by my husband in the jacuzzi one night during a deep discussion with friends. It was created when my husband couldn’t get out either “let’s face it” or “let’s be honest” so what came out was, “let’s-be-face-it”. And a phenomenon in our social circle was born. Feel free to use it with reckless abandon.

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4 thoughts on “In defense of the F-word. WARNING: GRAPHIC LANGUAGE (duh.)

  1. I am not sure how much English poetry you hear. Philip Larkin wrote,

    When I see a couple of kids, and guess
    he’s fucking her and she’s
    taking pills or wearing a diaphragm
    I know this is paradise

    everyone old has dreamed of all their lives

    he uses the precise, correct word. None of its many synonyms quite fit. However, the problem with using it is that it loses its effectiveness, for the hearer and for the speaker.

  2. I didn’t really grow up in the church, so most of my views on language are shaped by my family and public schools. Neither of them allowed cussing. To me, there is just no power in the f-bomb or any other . It was the crazed bad guys and dirty-minded comedians that cussed when I grew up. “That’s messed up” sounds a lot more powerful to me than any other word you can use there. In high school I even tried to start cussing and just gave up after a few months because it didn’t feel natural. That’s the thing about language – its all relative. The “power” of a certain word will change depending on a person’s perspective. Whether other words will work or fit better is all personal preference. That’s not saying that I don’t ever cuss – I just don’t ever feel like I have made the right choice when I do. Blame public schools for that, I guess.

    So, no, I would not feel loved if someone cussed like that in the middle of a personal tragedy. I would most likely feel like they didn’t know me very well at all. And I wouldn’t feel very if I said to you or anyone else either. I’m not saying that is right or wrong – its just me and who I am.

  3. scribblegurl says:

    I overuse the F-word, because I live life on the edge these days and stress is my middle name, and it’s a huge release to say that word. It’s also a relief to hear someone acknowledge that. But I do need to scale back on it, and this blog post gives me a better reason than just because it sounds bad to use it so much. I don’t want it to lose the power of catharsis. Thank you for reminding me of that.

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