But ultimately there comes a moment when a decision must be made. Ultimately two people who love each other must ask themselves how much they hope for as their love grows and deepens, and how much risk they are willing to take…It is indeed a fearful gamble…Because it is the nature of love to create, a marriage itself is something which has to be created, so that, together we become a new creature.
To marry is the biggest risk in human relations that a person can take…If we commit ourselves to one person for life this is not, as many people think, a rejection of freedom; rather it demands the courage to move into all the risks of freedom, and the risk of love which is permanent; into that love which is not possession, but participation…It takes a lifetime to learn another person…When love is not possession, but participation, then it is part of that co-creation which is our human calling, and which implies such risk that it is often rejected.
In which our love is
A miracle we co-create
A mosaic of a million tiles
That we lay meticulously
And then haphazardly
That we rip up and lay again
When their pattern doesn’t suit us
In which the tearing up
Leaves scars
That we cover over with beauty
And though we know they are there
We choose to see the magnificence
Our creativity has wrought
In which we go back
And examine each swirl and color
And celebrate their luminescence
And though it is something
We have made together
It still surprises us
In which we never stop discovering
Ourselves as artisans
What we are capable of
And how our talents bring
Contrast and compliment
To the other design
In which we co-create
Ourselves into one artist
With two hearts
In which we co-create
The love we are becoming
I would like to thank you for your recent comments about the masculinity of the church, indeed of all creation. You have succeeded in drawing a bright line that everyone can see. It is the defining line of what complementarians actually believe. Thank you for being honest and just laying it all out there. Thank you for not mincing words or hiding behind things like “everyone is equal in God’s eyes, we just have different roles.” I really appreciate that too. Now people can see the true choice between your view and mine.
John, as a gesture of my gratitude I would like to offer you a ride on my toboggan. Rachel and Susan and my husband Kent, most of the people from my church, Wade Burleson & Jesus are already on board and I have seen lots of other folks here on the slippery slope. But don’t worry, there is still room for you. I think maybe you are scared of what will happen if you go over the edge. I promise you it will take your breath away and at moments you may wonder what is happening but once you have taken a ride down the slippery slope you will find that it isn’t as scary or as slippery as you might think. (Just curious, what exactly is the fear if we afford women true equality in church and life? Sometimes I think people are afraid that elders meetings will turn into slumber parties where we all do each others hair and nails if women are included).
Heck you might enjoy it. You might even decide to take a run at a couple other slippery slopes while you are at it. How about homosexual hill? What will happen if we allow homosexuals to get married and come to our gatherings and worship Jesus with us? Are we afraid that our own children might become (I don’t think it is something you become btw) gay? Some of them already are; they are just scared to say so because they have been taught that the love of Jesus isn’t for homosexuals. Jesus never said that. He loves with no “unless”.
How about evolution incline? What will happen if we as Christians embrace or even entertain the scientific evidence for evolution? Are we afraid that God won’t be God anymore or are we just afraid that we might be wrong about him and he isn’t just like us? If God is God he has nothing to fear of science; he created science. All truth is God’s truth.
Pull on your mittens John, I can promise you a wild ride. I will be waiting for you at the top of the next hill.
m
Lovlies,
The video at the beginning of this post is shocking, yes? It is one of the first things I thought of last night when I heard about of John Piper’s remarks. The church in large numbers has been on the wrong side of history on several occasions including women’s suffrage, slavery & segregation. I am afraid that Piper is on the wrong side of history this time.
After reading the article last night on The Christian Post, I wondered how exactly Piper defines the terms masculine and feminine. Luckily for me I found this video. In it Piper uses a graphic that states the definitions he uses:
The Meaning of masculinity
At the heart of mature masculinity is a sense of benevolent responsibility to lead, provide for and protect women in ways appropriate to a man’s differing relationships.
The meaning of Mature Femininity
At the heart of mature femininity is a freeing disposition to affirm, receive and nurture strength and leadership from worthy men in ways appropriate to a woman’s differing realtionships.
Don’t you see women, this is a doctrine of freedom for you? You (as he goes on to say in the video) have the freedom to choose the man who will lead you. Once again, I am thankful for the bright line he has drawn. It forces you to think about what you really believe on this issue. It is one of the big three facing the church today. What about women? What about homosexuals? and What about evolution? Alas, we are only here to address the one slippery slope today. Here is the thing, we are all to mutually submit to one another. We all, according to our gifting, lead, provide for and protect one another. We all have the responsibility to affirm, receive and nurture each other. This post by Sarah Bessey is a great picture of this type of marriage relationship. But it isn’t just in marriage that mutual submission should take place. It is everywhere; at home, in the church, with your friends or at work. Everywhere with everyone. Can you imagine a world where we actually lived like this?
Piper seems to ignore many verses in scripture in his misogynistic interpretation of the scriptures in the article. These are just a few.
Galatians 3:27-28 27 For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. 28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
Unless…oh wait, there is no unless.
Genesis 1:27-28 27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. 28 And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” (notice he created them in his own image, he gave dominion to them).
Wade Burleson had an excellent post today where he stated:
The male and the female were both designed to rule. Men and women are created by God in His image as co-regents of the world He created. Any system, any society, any organization that places one gender as an authority over the other, whether it be patriarchal or matriarchal in nature, is a direct violation of the command and design of the Creator God. Why can women rule in God’s creation? Why can women lead in God’s creation? Why can women be equal to men in God’s creation? Women are created in the image of God, just like men, and when the omnipotent, sovereign and invisible Creator God determined to create man in His image, He created a male and a female, reflecting the very nature of God Himself. This is why there is nothing wrong with considering God as both Father and Mother, as the invisible and all-powerful Ruler of the universe who reflects Himself in both males and females–God is Spirit and the perfections of each gender are seen in God.
AMEN! Thank you Wade. I love fellow toboggan riders.
Isaiah 46:3
“Listen to me, O house of Jacob, all the remnant of the house of Israel, who have been borne by me from before your birth, carried from the womb; John Calvin wrote (btw, John Piper is a self proclaimed 7 point Calvinist),
God hasmanifested himself to be both Father and Mother so that we might be more aware of God’s constant presence and willingness to assist us.
Isaiah 49:15 15 “Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you.
Calvin’s commentary on this verse states:
God did not satisfy himself with proposing the example of a father, but in order to express his very strong affection, he chose to liken himself to a mother, and calls His people not merelychildren,butthe fruit of the womb, towards which there is usually a warmer affection.
Matthew 20:25-28
25 But Jesus called them to him and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. 26 It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, 27 and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, 28 even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
I will leave it to you. But remember the words of the great abolitionist, Sir William Wilberforce, when you are ready to throw in the towel and think that we cannot succeed in changing the status quo,
Accustom yourself to look first to the dreadful consequences of failure; then fix your eye on the glorious prize which is before you; and when your strength begins to fail, and your spirits are well nigh exhausted, let the animating view rekindle your resolution, and call forth in renewed vigour the fainting energies of your soul.
Let me help you with your luggage. I want to hear all about your trip.
I want to hear your stories; Stories of the beautiful and the hurtful; Stories of the pain you couldn’t bear and those who helped you bear it . I need to share your journey from where you have been to where you are going. I want, no, I need to help you carry your luggage and lighten your load. I am anxious to hear the stories of your travels and see the pictures of where you have stopped along the way. I want to know the life lessons you have learned and the ones you are still struggling with. I believe it is through the telling and retelling of the stories of what God is doing and how he is traveling with us, that change people. Through stories our eyes are opened and we understand things that were just abstract to us before. And you, you my lovelies, are not abstract. You are very very real aren’t you? You are people. You are children of God. You are loved and valued beyond what you can imagine. First by God and then by me. So I would like to ask you, would you share yourself with me?
I would like to start a weekly feature where I share more stories like the one in my recent post, Pray Away the Gay? I would love to hear your “Coming Out of the Church Closet” story if you are part of the GLBT community or have a family member who is gay then I would like to share it with our friends here. You may share your stories with or without real names (please make sure you have people’s permission if you use their names). Your choice. I hope you will decide to do this. The church needs to hear your stories because they are our own stories. You are a part of us after all, whether people want to admit it or not. Jesus died for us all and he came to save the world not to condemn it (John 3:17). You can send me your stories for review at Michelle@novitaschurch.com.
When you were a kid did you ever sit at the top of a sledding hill that looked like it was a gazillion feet high? And did you and your friends have a harrowing name for it like dead man’s hill?
We did. The first time I saw it I think it almost blocked out the sun. As we began the walk to the summit I thought this is the biggest hill I have ever seen. As far as I was concerned, if I was sledding down dead man’s hill I might as well be heliskiing (being dropped out of a helicopter while on skis). I was surely going to DIE!
But you know what? My Dad offered to go down with me and I thought, if my Dad goes with me it will be scary but I am going to be okay. I am not going to die.
So we are flying down dead man’s hill, me and my dad and it is the scariest thing I have done in my young life. Yet somehow, strangely, when we got to the bottom I asked him to go with me again and again.
Have you ever been back to your own “dead man’s hill” as an adult? I have. I was shocked! IT ISN’T THAT BIG! I will tell you it isn’t nearly as big and as scary as I thought it was. Sliding down it doesn’t even approach heliskiing any more than my son’s old race track resembles Indianapolis Motor Speedway.
That’s why when I saw Rachel Held Evens post this morning (READ IT HERE) I knew I needed to pull out my sled and invite you to fly down the slippery slope with me and Jesus. Yes the slope is big, sometimes it is icy but together with Jesus we won’t be in any danger. In fact, we might have some fun on the way. Sure our knuckles may be white from holding on and our voices may be hoarse from screaming on the way down. But when we reach the bottom and fall in a heap breathless we will look back up at it and realize that “dead man’s hill” isn’t really going to kill us. Heck it just might bring us closer to where we always wanted to be.
It’s freedom for the disillusioned because now we get to enjoy the richness of relationship with the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit without any intermediary or filter. I get to follow Jesus, not you. I get to be part of community that is rich and full. This flattened hierarchy thing that freaks so many people out? It’s actually pretty awesome.
This disillusionment pushed me away from revering you or heroes of the faith or mystics or doctrine purveyors or models or churches. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m still wanting to learn from all of you. But it drove me to the true example, the true Shepherd, the true Father. In this new world, I can embrace you as a true man – or woman – after God’s own heart, flawed, moving forward as we all are towards our true renewed selves with open hearts to God.
Now, when I hear of you falling or a few skeletons in your closet, my heart is free to break for you and your own need for our Abba. I’m no hypocrite and my turn may be coming. I can make my response this time all about you, to love you, to be there for you, no judgements, only grace and second chances – imagine that.
As disillusionment spreads – and clearly, it is spreading – I wonder if it spells freedom for you.
Today one of the bloggers I read regularly, Sarah Bessey who blogs at Emerging Mummy, penned these words on another blog called Deeper Story. You can read the whole blog post at either of these links.
Her post today makes the assertion that disillusionment with the traditional church leadership model is a good thing. The definition of disillusion is “to destroy the false but pleasant beliefs.” This is a very good and important thing. For so many in the position of lead pastor (or whatever your particular flavor of christianity calls the “lead dude (usually) in charge), the job that most originally seek out because they feel the call of God or because they want to help people, soon becomes a prison.
A prison not made of bars of steel, but judgement, perfectionism, unrealistic expectations and a plethora of other ungodly expectations. In a survey of pastors by Barna, they found:
1500 pastors leave the ministry each month due to moral failure, spiritual burnout, or contention in their churches.
50% of pastors’ marriages will end in divorce.
80% of pastors feel unqualified and discouraged in their role as pastor.
50% of pastors are so discouraged that they would leave the ministry if they could, but have no other way of making a living.
80% of seminary and Bible school graduates who enter the ministry will leave the ministry within the first five years.
70% of pastors constantly fight depression.
Almost 40% polled said they have had an extra-marital affair since beginning their ministry.
70% said the only time they spend studying the Word is when they are preparing their sermons.
The system is broken. I agree with Sarah. Disillusionment with this system is a good thing. No, a Godly thing. No one man (or woman) should be given that much power, or have that much pressure placed on them. It is impossible to live up to. In her recent post, Dear Pastor, Tell Us the Truth, Rachel Held Evans wrote a letter that holds the key to swing wide the prison doors for pastors and their families…TRUTH.
Tell us the truth.
Tell us the truth when you don’t know the answers to our questions, and your humility will set the example as we seek them out together.
Tell us the truth about your doubts, and we will feel safe sharing our own.
Tell us the truth when you get tired, when the yoke grows too heavy and the hill too steep to climb, and we will learn to carry one another’s burdens because we started with yours.
Tell us the truth when you are sad, and we too will stop pretending.
Tell us the truth when your studies lead you to new ideas that might stretch our faith and make us uncomfortable, and those of us who stick around will never forget that you trusted us with a challenge.
Tell us the truth when your position is controversial, and we will grow braver along with you.
Tell us the truth when you need to spend time on your marriage, and we will remember to prioritize ours.
Tell us the truth when you fail, and we will stop expecting perfection.
Tell us the truth when you think that our old ways of doing things need to change, and though we may push back, the conversation will force us to examine why we do what we do and perhaps inspire something even greater.
Tell us the truth when you fall short, and we will drop our measuring sticks.
Tell us the truth when all that’s left is hope, and we start digging for it.
Tell us the truth when the world requires radical grace, and we will generate it.
Tell us the truth even if it’s surprising, disappointing, painful, joyous, unexpected, unplanned, and unresolved, and we will learn that this is what it means to be people of faith.
Tell us the truth and you won’t be the only one set free.
Ever see a dance so sad and beautiful and painful that it made you cry?
This morning my friend Kris Irvin posted the following as his status.
I’m a Christian, I love Jesus, but I am not alright. I am sick of the facade. I am disgusted at what “christianity” has made me think that I have to be. I hear songs about God turning mourning into dancing, about him taking away all of our pain and sorrows. It just isn’t true. Is it possible, yes, but not the norm. I don’t want to be emotionless, I want to cry, I want to hurt, I want pain, these things are real to me. I also want joy, peace, comfort. I want to be human, because God made me human. He gave me these emotions and I want to embrace them. No one wants their parents to tell them to stop crying when they are in pain and hurting, they want them to hold them close. I want God to hold me close.
Shit happens and let’s be honest, life NEVER seems fair, and I don’t want to act like it is. No more facade, no more smiles to hide the pain. I embrace what God has made me and I hold onto the fact that sometimes it isn’t just going to be all better right away.
And when sorrow can’t rejoice, he holds me close.
This is truth. Naked, beautiful, honest, ugly truth.
Shortly after I read his post The CBE Scroll arrived in my inbox. It said in part:
God tells us that when we want an accurate picture of himself, we should look at his Son whom he sent as a tangible representation of Divinity; transcendence made flesh; God made human. In Scripture, I find that Christ was moved deeply by feeling. He was filled with compassion, love, loyalty, hope, and sometimes even righteous anger. Christ’s emotions moved him to be surrounded by the sick, the dirty, and the poor. His emotions led him to wash his friends’ feet, and weep when his friend Lazarus died. He told us to love one another, act with compassion, to be merciful. Christ was anything but a numb, distant, and “thick skinned” leader. Christ felt things, and he felt them deeply.
Years ago, at a workshop which is now called The Encounter, Derek Watson said, “Why do you laugh in the face of what sorrow brings?”
It is a brilliant question. I learned later that Derek was actually quoting the great Bob Dylan in his song, What Good Am I. The last verse says,
What good am I if I say foolish things
And I laugh in the face of what sorrow brings
And I just turn my back while you silently die
What good am I?
You can read the lyrics or listen to the full song here.
When I was in theater in high school, our teacher Mr. Avery (or just Avery, as we used to call him) would remind us that when things were particularly sad or tense or difficult not to be surprised when the audience laughed. Why is that do you suppose? Is it our mask, is it our upbringing, or is it just the voice in our head that calls us weak?
In Romans 12:15, Jesus asks us to rejoice with the rejoicing and weep with the weeping. He asks us to entwine our hearts with those around us so that they beat to the same music. So that the music of life, the rise and fall, rise and fall of the driving happy beats and the sorrowful moans of the cello become the soundtrack by which we live and breathe. And when “sorrow can’t rejoice, he holds [us] close.” We need to allow our feet to move to the beat of the music of the heart we are entwined with and allow our arms to encircle our brother or sister who in their sorrow just simply needs to be held and know they are not alone.
Jesus, Kris and Dylan, thank you for the invitation to dance.
At the Novitas Sunday gatherings we have been doing corporate readings the last couple months. It connects us to the liturgy of the church and all the followers of Jesus who have come before us and built on His foundation to bring us to this point in history and it connects us to all those who will build on long after we are gone. There have been many creeds written throughout church history. The creed we read yesterday was the newest one we have found and it was originally adopted in 1968 by the United Church of Canada’s 23rd General Council. I want to share it with you because it is the one that has spoken to me the most deeply.
A NEW CREED
We are not alone,
we live in God's world.
We believe in God:
who has created and is creating,
who has come in Jesus,
the Word made flesh,
to reconcile and make new,
who works in us and others
by the Spirit.
We trust in God.
We are called to be the Church:
to celebrate God's presence,
to live with respect in Creation,
to love and serve others,
to seek justice and resist evil,
to proclaim Jesus, crucified and risen,
our judge and our hope. In life, in death, in life beyond death,
God is with us.
We are not alone. Thanks be to God.
At Novitas, we like to say we are a community of people dedicated to loving God and caring for people ALL people. Vital to this is the knowledge that we are not alone. Isn’t that what most of us need? There was a line in the movie Shall We Dance? where Susan Sarandon‘s character says, ”We need a witness to our lives. There’s a billion people on the planet, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you’re promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things, all of it, all of the time, every day. You’re saying ‘Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go unwitnessed because I will be your witness’.” This has always stuck with me. I think it is true in marriage and true in the body of Christ. What most of us want is someone who will be there with us through it all. To love no matter what.
One tear in the driving rain,
One voice in a sea of pain
Could the maker of the stars
Hear the sound of my breaking heart?
One life, that’s all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If You’re everything You say You are
Would You come close and hold my heart
The good news is God has not left us alone. He didn’t come to condemn the world but to save it. He didn’t stay far away, he came near. He became one of us so we could be part of him. All of us. He loves all. He loves you. Susan’s character asks, “what does any one life mean? Jesus says, everything. Today he says, your tears will not go unnoticed because I will notice them. I will hold your heart while it breaks. I will be with you forever until ALL things are made right. Make no mistake, love transforms people. Love changes the world. Love wins.
At the 
word of a woman 