I thought I would make it through this summer without writing a post about modesty/bikinis. I was wrong. (Also, sorry I haven’t written much lately. I have been a little uninspired.)
Recently, the topic of bikinis (and whether your daughter should post a photo to social media in which she is wearing one) has been discussed among a group of my friends.
Here are my thoughts:
- Personally, I could not care less if my daughter’s private account has pictures of her in her bikini. You can literally see girls in bikinis everywhere you look in the summer, including at my house.
- I own several bikinis myself and there are likely pictures of me in them somewhere on facebook seeing as I wear one often on vacation, at the waterpark, at swim parties or in my own back yard. I try not to be a hypocrite when setting boundaries with my kids.
- We try to teach our kids not to be ashamed of their bodies. I wish you wouldn’t teach your kids that my daughter should be ashamed of hers.
- If I don’t have a problem with my daughter wearing a bikini in public, I should not have a problem with her posting a picture in one at the pool with her friends. A public pool and a public post are not all that different.
- Boys/men/girls/women can literally see girls in bikinis at any public pool, in advertisements, and at virtually every swim party (unless everyone there subscribes to the same modesty doctrine). Your child has literally already seen hundreds or maybe thousands of women in bathing suits. LIVE AND IN PERSON.
- If you are worried that your son or someone else’s son (or lesbian daughter – we are inclusive here) will use these images to masturbate, they might. But guess what? They will likely think about whom they are attracted to when engaging in this behavior – bikini photo or no bikini photo. There is literally nothing you can do to stop someone from thinking of a particular person when they are masturbating. Nothing. Unless of course, you keep them at home and never let another human know they exist. SIDENOTE: Masturbation is actually a healthy and normal part of sexual development.
- If you don’t want your child to see people wearing bikinis or pictures of people wearing bikinis that is your prerogative; However, it is your responsibility to prevent them from seeing it (good luck with that), not my daughter’s or mine. After all, if it is up to women to prevent themselves from being sexualized, we are all screwed. That is the kind of thinking that leads to women being hidden away at home and discouraged from going out.
- Every person gets to decide for themselves where their boundaries are, but they are just that, THEIR boundaries. I decide for me. You decide for you.
- BONUS: I saw a funny post this week about school dress codes. It said something like, “I wore a top with spaghetti straps to my class today at college. Funny, all the guys were somehow able to and expected to learn.”