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Here and There

Posted on May 17, 2013 by word of a woman

here and there header 9

When in the end we end up

Apart

There will never have been enough nights that I lied in your arms

When the moments of furious and sweet passion

With longing

I must wait to have with you again

Will I even be able to breathe?

No matter how many we share now they will never seem enough then

When in the end you are there and I am here

or

I am here

and

you are there

So in the while, whilst yet I breathe

Whilst your heart beats within your chest

I must savor the moments as they come and treat them with the

All consuming importance they deserve though I may be tempted to rest alone instead

Instead

I must treasure up every drop of passion our souls allow

And soar

On the wings of our quantum entanglement

So that when

Here

And

There

Have arrived

We will have enough of the brilliance of our love to survive the night

And touch the dawn

Of the other side

 

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That’s what I want. (and what I don’t)

Posted on May 16, 2013 by word of a woman

ImageI read on Facebook today and I have been told more than once since beginning this blog my lovelies to, ‘Say what you want, not what you don’t want.’ (This is apparently a quote from Maxwell Maltz btw).

Well, all I can say is it would be nice if that always worked. But alas. It does NOT always work. I am all for speaking out on behalf of what I want to see happen. I speak up on behalf of love. I speak positively about the values I embrace, I vote for people I want to see put in office. I write blog upon blog about not giving up, about becoming all we were made to be, about strong beautiful people doing wonderful things. But sometimes…

It just flat out isn’t enough to talk about what we want to see. Some times we MUST say “what we don’t want”.

Sometimes people need to hear, No. That is not okay.

It isn’t okay to do that. Or to say that. Or to be that.

Sometimes it is simply required that we speak up and say no more.

No more oppression, injustice and misinformation.

No more bullying. No more discrimination. No more hate disguised as love.

Listen lovelies. I do want to be known for what I am for and who I am for. I also want be known for what I stand against. I think Jesus was like that and I am trying to live more like him. He is known for being FOR love, forgiveness, mercy, grace and sacrifice. He was also known for being AGAINST hypocrisy, legalism, making people carry burdens you won’t bear yourself and keeping people out who he clearly wants in.

So yeah, I am all for saying what I do want. I am also prepared to say what I don’t want and most of the time I think we have to do both. 

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What if you came with me?

Posted on May 9, 2013 by word of a woman

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A Facebook friend posted a status today that said, something to the effect of, “Sometimes you just have to trust that evildoers (I believe he actually said wrongdoers) will get it in the end or you would go insane.” (paraphrased)

This is a sentiment I have heard over and over my whole life. Every time someone does something ranging from merely inconveniently bad (stealing our wallet/phone/car, et al.) that we can’t do anything about to the flat out horrifically evil (the Castro brothers of Cleveland, Ohio) that we can’t think of a punishment awful enough for, we say something like it. We like to think that God‘s punishment will be worse than anything we could dream up. We say things like,

“Vengeance is mine, says the Lord.”

“He/she will get their’s in the end.”

“I hope he/she burns in hell.”

But what if there was another option?

What if wrongdoers are in the end made to understand their wrongdoing and then transformed into who they were always meant to be? Wouldn’t that be better? Isn’t that a more satisfying and complete defeat of evil? Is not the love of Christ enough to consume even the vilest offenses of the worst of humankind and transform the evildoer into something beautiful? Who they once were would cease to exist and who they always should have been would be all that remains. Doesn’t that type of justice also account for the wrongs done to that person that contributed to their descent into darkness? Don’t get me wrong, I agree that here and now there must be consequences to evil behavior and there are some acts so heinous they are difficult to even comprehend. I understand that some people cause a legacy of pain so deep that we as humans cannot see a way to redemption. But isn’t that why we are not fit to judge? Is not our love incomplete? As I said in an earlier post,

People always say you should fear his [Jesus] judgement as he will be the judge on the last day. Personally, I think you should be super relieved and overjoyed that he will be your judge. If he is anything like he was on earth (which was the exact representation of who God is), he will find ways to forgive that you cannot even imagine. He will judge with mercy and compassion. This is the man who came to save all. Who died for all. He took the full weight of all the worst the world and humanity has to offer and he absorbed it and he looked it in the face and he pronounced love and forgiveness.

Why does this idea, that the evil could be redeemed and made right, make so many people mad? I think it because most of us hurt so badly for the people (sometimes others, sometimes ourselves) that the evil have wronged that we just don’t see how it is fair for them to receive mercy. Not now; not ever.

Jesus once told a parable about about some workers. He said he told the story to reveal a little bit of what the kingdom of heaven is like. In the story, the owner of a vineyard hires groups of workers throughout the day. In so doing the groups all work different amounts of time. At the end of the day, he pays all the workers the same amount regardless of how long they worked. Some of them get angry, and think they should get more for working longer to which the man in the story says this, “‘Friend, I am doing you no wrong. Did you not agree with me for a denarius? Take what belongs to you and go. I choose to give to this last worker as I give to you. Am I not allowed to do what I choose with what belongs to me? Or do you begrudge my generosity?’ So the last will be first, and the first last.”

I worship a generous God who forgives (thank goodness) when I would not, who loves when I cannot, and died for all regardless of what they had done or would do. He has set about making “all things new” and “restoring all things”, including humanity. Can you imagine a world where (insert the name of your favorite bad person here), instead of growing up to lead people to death, destruction and hatred, grew up to lead people to life, wisdom and love of the other? What if all their gifts had been used in the cause of love instead of hate? Wouldn’t that be a better world? What if in the end God gives us that kind of world? What if he lets us experience that kind of love? What if the people known to be most evil were transformed into who they always should have been? What if swords are really turned to plow shares, what if the lion does lay with the lamb? What if it is like none of us were ever damaged, or hurt or never damaged and hurt another? What if all evil is consumed by good, death is swallowed up by life and we each become who we were always meant to be? What if love wins?

What if as it says in 2 Cor 5 (*see footnote at the bottom of the post), Jesus actually died for ALL? What if God, through Jesus actually was reconciling the WORLD to himself? What if he really isn’t COUNTING THEIR TRESPASSES AGAINST THEM? And what if, what if God actually wants to make his appeal THROUGH US? As far as I can tell from the passage, Jesus, by dying secured victory over sin and death.

My husband pointed out an N.T. Wright quote and response he read online yesterday when he was proofreading my rough draft of this post. I thought it fit right in so I am going to share it.

The Quote:

“This is what happens when people present over-simple stories with an angry God and a loving Jesus, with a God who demands blood and doesn’t much mind whose it is as long as it’s innocent.“ You’d have thought people would notice that this flies in the face of John’s and Paul’s deep-rooted theology of the love of the triune God: not ‘God was so angry with the world that he gave us his son’ but ‘God so loved the world that he gave us his son’. That’s why, when I sing that interesting recent song ‘In Christ alone my hope is found’, and we come to the line, ‘And on the cross, as Jesus died, the wrath of God was satisfied’, I believe it’s more deeply true to sing ‘the love of God was satisfied’.”       –N.T. Wright

The Response:

It is not the wrath of the Father against the Son, much less the wrath of God against Himself, that is satisfied on the cross; but the justice of fair-togetherness: God willingly shares in the suffering both of sinners and victims alike. God doesn’t punish Himself, the Father isn’t punishing the Son (and especially not for something someone else did that the Son didn’t do!); but God is sharing in the suffering of punishment.

For sinners, the suffering is punishment. For God, the suffering is love for the sinners. (And abuse by sinners, too, willingly allowed by God. The sacrifice on the cross is a highly complex action. The intention isn’t complex, though: love for everyone, sinner and victim alike. :) )  –Jason Pratt

I do not claim to know for sure who all will be saved. But as Christine A. Scheller said in her article about Dallas Willard who passed away this week,  ”A consequence of Willard’s academic honesty is his unwillingness to state who’s in and who’s out spiritually, which bothers critics who worry that he is a universalist. He says he doesn’t believe anyone will be saved except by Jesus, but he adds, “How that works out, probably no one knows.”

I like that. I like to at least consider that there will be more people in on this thing we call redemption than we think.

Perhaps in the future when I am confronted by wrongdoers (as my friend called them), I might change my responses to, “Won’t he/she be surprised in the end?” and mean surprised by forgiveness.  Or maybe, “Vengeance (repayment exacted for an injury or wrong) belongs to God” and remember that God tells me not to repay evil with evil. And rather than say, “I hope they burn in hell,” perhaps I will learn to say, “I hope they become who they always should have been.” I’m not there yet. I have a ways to go. What if you came with me?

*For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; and he died for all,that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised. From now on, therefore, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we once regarded Christ according to the flesh, we regard him thus no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

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For the love of God (and our neighbor) can we please stop using these 3 phrases?

Posted on May 3, 2013 by word of a woman

Lovegodandneighbor

There are 3 phrases Christians love to use regarding homosexuality that I wish would just go away. They belie our claim to love God and our neighbor (If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother. –1 John 4:20-21) You may think I am not being fair by using that verse and you may not even hate your LGBT brothers and sisters but if you know a LGBT person ask him or her whether these phrases communicate love or hate to them.

“I disagree with homosexuality.”

“You Can’t Be Christian and Gay.”

and

“Love the sinner. Hate the sin.”

I disagree with homosexuality

I have seen this phrase or its sibling “I don’t agree with homosexuality” all over the place. Just google it and you’ll see what I mean. This statement makes no sense on several levels. First of all grammatically (I can’t be the only one who sees this). How can one disagree with something that isn’t an idea or a hypothesis or even a theory but actually a factual thing. Homosexuality is a real thing. Saying you disagree with it is like saying you disagree with the sun or the color green. I personally disagree with gravity so I think I will go fly now. I think this is a big disconnect for me. When you try to persuade me that you are indeed correct by starting with “I disagree with homosexuality…” you lose me right away. Saying you disagree with homosexuality sounds like you are either denying it exists at all or that you believe people wake up one day and choose to be attracted to members of the same sex (jut like they woke up one day and chose to be attracted to people of the opposite sex). Can we all please agree that grammatically this is just not the right way to say what you really mean?

The second way in which this phrase is all kinds of jacked up, is Scientifically. That same sex attraction (i.e. homosexuality) exists is a scientific fact. To say you “disagree with homosexuality” is simply a denial of the facts.

I think Mr. Broussard and those who I have seen use this statement fall into two camps. Those who actually believe that homosexuality is a choice and would not exist at all if everyone actually chose to obey God and be heterosexual. They believe the simple fact that a person is attracted to members of the same sex is a sin, period whether they ever act upon those attractions or not and that in a sinless world those attractions would not exist. To take that to its logical extreme no one will be gay in heaven. (Try if you will, to separate yourself from your sexuality if you are straight, can you do it? Isn’t that inherently a part of who you are?) Those in the second camp are the ones who don’t really mean they disagree with homosexuality so much as they disagree with people acting on their attractions, living what they perceive as “the gay lifestyle” (Excellent article by Justin Lee on this.), or legalizing same sex marriage. These folks believe homosexual practice is a sin, like any other sin that can be repented of and forgiven.

Love the sinner. Hate the sin.

Often times these are the folks in the “love the sinner, hate the sin” camp. On the blog, Disoriented. Reoriented., I found this quote regarding LTSHTS:

Further, it is not actually a biblical phrase. To paraphrase Andrew Marin in his video accompaniment to Love Is an Orientation, “There are plenty of places in the Bible where Jesus tells us to love sinners. And there are plenty of places where we are told to hate sin. But nowhere are those concepts put together.” In fact, Jesus’ message to us does not appear to be “love the sinner, hate the sin,” but to “love the sinner and hate our own sin.” Marin quotes Billy Graham: “It is the Holy Spirit’s job to convict, God’s job to judge and my job to love.”)

This camp includes the folks who say gay people do exist but they can’t be Christian unless and until they repent. Chris Broussard falls into this category. This week in his on air rant on ESPN Mr. Broussard said the following:

“If you’re openly living that type of [homosexual] lifestyle, then the Bible says you should know them by their fruits. It says that, you know, that’s a sin,” Broussard said on ESPN show Outside The Lines. “If you’re openly living in unrepentant sin, whatever it may be, not just homosexuality….I believe that’s walking in open rebellion to God and to Jesus Christ. So I would not characterize that person as a Christian because I don’t think the Bible would characterize them as a Christian.”

You Can’t Be Christian and Gay

This phrase is patently false and is even contradicted by the people who use it when they then turn around and say well, you can, as long as you repent, and get back on the wagon, like an alcoholic or a liar or a glutton or any other sinner.

Yesterday the Huffington Post reported on an interview Broussard gave on the radio where he did exactly that. He explained his first statement and back pedaled a bit by saying this:

The life of a Christian, Broussard explained, means having to constantly fight temptation. “And if you stumble and fall, then you get back up, you repent and ask God for forgiveness, and you move on,” he said. “I think that applies to homosexuals as well.”

Men who are attracted to other men can still be considered Christian if — and only if — they constantly try to counteract the same-sex attraction, Broussard said. And if they “repent, and they ask for forgiveness, and they keep trying to serve God, and they fall time and time again consistently, I believe that person is a Christian.”

So, Broussard and those who agree with him would have us believe that Jason Collins and any other LGBT persons cannot, by virtue of their gayness (unless they denounce it, deny it and repent), be followers of Jesus. This is because they say these folks are in open rebellion against God. Really? They are? Are you sure?

Folks such as these (and many of my friends) say that the Bible is crystal clear on this topic. (I have written extensively on this topic and the so called “clear” verses. You can read those posts here.) That they just read what the words in their Bible say, that this is what the church has believed and taught for thousands of years and therefore they are right. Here is my question, What about slavery? Do you think the church was wrong about slavery for thousands of years? The Bible says MUCH more in support of slavery than it does in opposition to homosexuality. (Great article called Is Abolition Biblical? by RHE on this topic.) Now maybe you are one of those folks who thinks slavery is ok. (Yes, I am serious. These people exist. Scary, I know.  Look… Why Is a Famous Evangelical Defending Slavery?) In which case I am not even sure what to do with you.

For my money these are people who have forgotten the verses that say,

“But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you shut the kingdom of heaven in people’s faces. For you neither enter yourselves nor allow those who would enter to go in.”
–Matthew 23:13

For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive in the spirit,
–1Peter 3:18

For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.
–John 3:17

“Do not judge others, so that God will not judge you, for God will judge you in the same way you judge others, and he will apply to you the same rules you apply to others.Why, then, do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the log in your own eye? How dare you say to your brother, “Please, let me take that speck out of your eye,’ when you have a log in your own eye? You hypocrite! First take the log out of your own eye, and then you will be able to see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.
–Matt 7:1-5

And when he comes, he will convict the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment: concerning sin, because they do not believe in me; concerning righteousness, because I go to the Father, and you will see me no longer; concerning judgment, because the ruler of this world is judged.
–John 16:8-11

No matter what you believe about homosexuality and whether or not it is a sin, what is clear is that God tells us it is not our job to convict or to judge but it is our job to LOVE. In fact, Jesus says that is our only job. And it NEVER says love includes excluding people from worshiping God.

side note: Some “Christians” have even extended their rejection this week to people who simply tweeted their support of Mr. Collins. Just yesterday, Former Green Bay Packers safety LeRoy Butler was disinvited from speaking at a church in Wisconsin because he had tweeted this, ”Congrats to Jason Collins.” Apparently that is all it takes to piss God off in their minds. Butler was disinvited and told that if he removed the tweet, apologized and asked God for forgiveness, he could still come and speak. He refused. Butler, being a class act, refused to reveal the name of the offending church and was issued an apology which blamed some parents in the congregation for complaining about the tweet and thanked him for not revealing their name in the media. He was not however, reinvented to  speak. *SIGH*

For me, I will stick with Billy Graham on this one. “It is the Holy Spirit’s job to convict, God’s job to judge and my job to love.”  I personally don’t believe same sex attraction is a sin. I don’t believe homosexual relations are a sin. I do believe sex outside of marriage is a sin. That is why I support marriage equality. I think it is good for the individual, good for the family, good for the church and good for society as a whole. Marriage stabilizes families, it encourages commitment, it celebrates sacrificing for each other, giving to each other, loving each other. That is a beautiful thing.

Here is a small list of some prominent gay Christians who you should get to know:

Justin Lee -  the founder of the Gay Christian Network (GCN), a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization that provides resources and support to gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender Christians.

Mel White - an American clergyman and author. White was a behind-the-scenes member of the Evangelical Protestant movement through the 1960s, 1970s, and 1980s, writing film and television specials and ghostwriting auto-biographies for televangelists such as Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, and Billy Graham. After years of writing for the Christian right, he came out as gay in 1994.

Micah’s Rule - a vocal trio originating from Wilmington, NC. Made up of Alto: Mary Anne Hewett, Baritone: Greg McCaw, and Contralto: Chasity Scott, and singing the very best in inspirational, gospel, southern gospel, black gospel, country, and rock stylings with powerful voices and intricate harmonies. Great article on them here.

Jennifer Knapp - an American-Australian, folk rock, and formerly contemporary Christian musician. She is best known for her first single “Undo Me” from her debut album Kansas (1998), and the song “A Little More” from her Grammy Award-nominated album Lay It Down (2000). The Way I Am (2001), was also nominated for a Grammy.

Ray Boltz - a singer-songwriter who first came to wide notice in contemporary Christian music. Many of his songs tell stories of faith and inspiration. Boltz was raised by his parents William and Ruth Boltz, and was married to his wife Carol Boltz for over 30 years. They have four children. He came out in 2008.

Gene Robinson - an American retired bishop of the Diocese of New Hampshire in the Episcopal Church in the United States of America. Robinson was elected bishop coadjutor in 2003 and succeeded as diocesan bishop in March 2004. Before becoming bishop, he served as Canon to the Ordinary to the VIII Bishop of New Hampshire. Robinson is widely known for being the first priest in an openly gay relationship to be consecrated a bishop in a major Christian denomination believing in the historic episcopate.

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So this actually exists and the world is worse for it.

Posted on May 2, 2013 by word of a woman

WARNING: THIS POST NOT FOR KIDS

So people often ask me why I am a feminist and then they point out all the ways that women and men are equal (look we can vote, own property and have our own bank accounts!) and that it isn’t like we live in an episode of Mad Men anymore.

Why?

Why?

I’ll tell you why, because THIS…
Blachman

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Blachman is a real, actual, Danish prime time reality television show where the man on the right, X Factor’s Thomas Blachman and another male guest critique a live nude woman’s body. YES YOU HEARD ME RIGHT AND YES SHE CAN HEAR EVERY WORD. (Why a woman would subject herself to this kind of humiliation is beyond me).

Here is what Mr. Thomas Blachman has to say for himself…

[T]he entire idea of the show is to let men talk about the bodies of naked women while the woman is standing right in front of them. The female body thirsts for words. The words of a man.”

and

“Ungratefulness is the only thing that can really wear down the few geniuses who reside in this country. Remember, I am giving you something that you have never seen before.Don’t bite the hand that feeds you.”

In an article on The Daily Mail he put it this way,

Blachman, who is a Danish X-Factor judge, today defended his idea insisting he was actually doing women a favour as the ’female body thirsts for the words of a man’.

He also said his show – which has the eponymous title Blachman – was the work of a genius and had a higher objective of ‘discussing the aesthetics of a female body without allowing the conversation to become pornographic or politically correct’.

(Not sure how the phrases ’How’s that p****’ working out for you?’, ’Very animated nipples.’ and asking a woman to turn around because he is an ‘a** man’ fit into those parameters.)

The show’s FEMALE producer has this to add,

“We have a program that reveals what men think about the female body. Quite honestly, what is wrong with that?”

It breaks my heart that this passes as entertainment; that women are willing to put themselves in this postion; that there are people who are willing to put this on the air to make money; and that there are people who tune in to watch. It is just a sad day all around and this makes me almost too tired to fight. ALMOST.

Additional Reading:
Sometimes I Grow Weary of the Fight

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Response

Posted on April 30, 2013 by word of a woman

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Have you seen this meme? It has just hit facebook and is all up in my feed. Here is my response…

Yes, I am a follower of Jesus.
I believe the truth contained in the Bible and in THE TRUTH who is Jesus Christ.
I support my homosexual friends and their right to marry the person they love.
Yes, I love all people.
Yes, I am still friends with people who disagree with me.
No, I am not judging you.
Yes, I am trying to persuade you to love like Jesus.
Yes, I will stand up for your right to free exercise of your beliefs as long as they don’t infringe on someone else’s right to practice theirs.

I will never call you a name but I will point out where your practice lacks grace, mercy and compassion. I will not remain silent as you say that I do not respect the scriptures or that I do not believe “the truth”. I will not remain silent when people God loves are being told they are not welcome in his family. I fully support your right to speak what you believe, and I will continue to speak what I believe.

* Due to demand I turned this into a meme of my own which you will find below. Please feel free to share it.

mymeme

 

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You Are Strong: Yet Another Proposal

Posted on April 26, 2013 by word of a woman

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My husband and I have a running thing (not really a joke per se but it is one of those things that gets said over and over) it goes something like this… we will be listening to some couple tell their engagement story complete with horses or some other grand detail or we’ll watch the viral video of the guy who does the flashmob proposal where he has his soon to be fiancee sit in the open back of a car and all their known friends and relatives sing and dance and act out the Bruno Mars song, I think I Want to Marry You. In the couple scenario, after the telling of their story we usually get asked to tell our engagement story. (Turn about is fair play after all). “Well”, we say, “we don’t really have one”.  Then we proceed to tell the whirlwind story of how we met in late March of 1986 and were engaged by the end of July. Honestly I am not even sure what the actual date of our engagement is except that we told my mom we were getting married on July 4th, 1986 before we had even bought the ring. Kent knew pretty much right away he wanted to marry me and began bringing up the possibility in conversation just a few weeks after we met. I took a little convincing, as I was 16 and had previously planned it all out and intended to get married in my mid twenties after finishing college.

Aside: Life is funny that way. you think you have a plan and then…as the mom said on the Six Feet Under episode we watched last night, it rarely happens the way you think it will. My plan, up until this point, certainly did not include meeting the one great love of my life at a conference at the Anaheim Marriott.

So we go on and tell them our story, how he moved down to where I lived, how one day I got so freaked out by it all I lied and said I didn’t love him, how he knew and refused to believe it. We tell them how we talked about it many many times and how at some point I just realized that, YES. I did want to marry him. Usually it is sometime around here  (or in the video scenario when it ends and we are both teary eyed) that Kent says, one of these days when you least expect it, I am going to propose to you.

Here’s the thing he has been proposing to me all along. Every time we spoke about it he was proposing that we were better together than we were apart. There was no horse, or song and dance number, but there was proposing. 

I have come to a realization recently and I would like to share it with you. A proposal of marriage is NOT a one time event.  The dictionary defines a proposal as an offer of marriage and one definition I found of marriage was “any intimate association or union”. Back in the day Kent did propose to me and I have come to see that from that point on we have been proposing to each other ever since. 

Many years ago before we had children, Kent and I had a big shift in the way were looking at and experiencing life. On one particular night I remember him saying, maybe I should just let you find someone else, you could do so much better than me. I said no and told him I didn’t want someone else I wanted him: I proposed we were an us. We were. We said yes. Proposals don’t always come on white horses or on beaches at sunset. Sometimes proposals come in the middle of tornados, sometimes they come on really hard days. The important thing is to say yes when they come, and to propose again tomorrow.

You Are Strong. That is the message Kent wrote to me on my side of the bathroom mirror the day before yesterday. Those three words. Changed my life. In that moment he offered me afresh to join him in an intimate union. Sometimes proposals are simple and take 5 seconds to scribble on a mirror.

Aside #2: A couple months ago I grabbed a dry erase marker normally used for my family fridge calendar and wrote something I appreciated about Kent on his side of the mirror. He left it there. I liked doing it so I kept changing it each day. A couple days into my little proposals I had one on my side of the mirror. It is one of the most beautiful things we have ever done. And now I realize, each one a proposal and offer of intimate union.

On our 25th anniversary we celebrated by renewing our vows, I wrote mine out and Kent spoke from his heart. These vows were also a proposal; an offer of intimate union. Some times proposals are made on the glorious days when babies are born or marathon finish lines are crossed. Sometimes they are grand, romantic and/or breathtaking.

It happens every day now that I have eyes to see it. I propose to him when I ask about his hard day. He proposes to me when he helps me clean up after dinner. I offer intimate union when I make a family meal for us all to share. He offers it to me when he asks what show I prefer to watch on the DVR. We propose to each other when we forgive the other’s faults and shortcomings and when we celebrate each other’s accomplishments and victories.

Don’t get me wrong, I am a sucker for a good proposal story. And, if I’m beng honest, I am looking forward to being surprised one day when Kent throws down with his “big proposal”. But you know what? This is our new proposal story and it will keep getting longer, more breathtaking and more complex with each offer made to one other. Every addition to this story is beautiful. Every one spectacular when you think about it. 

 

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Blown away by love.

Posted on April 18, 2013 by word of a woman

ImageThe events of the week are enough to make your heart burst. I don’t have to tell you again what they are do I? No my lovelies. I will not do that here. Your heart knows. My heart knows.   It knows that there is just too damn little precious, swiftly passing time. If tragedy serves any purpose at all for the living it must be (in my estimation) the cruelest reminder to love. Love now. Love big. Love deep. Love radical. Extend grace where it is not deserved. Hug a stranger just because they look like they need one (ask first). Give to someone and expect nothing. Forgive. Forgive. And Forgive. Again. Even the one who has hurt you in the worst way. Extinguish your hatred. Hatred of the other, the different, the them. Who are “they anyway”? Aren’t they us? What is it that is keeping you from loving? If you are going to let those fucking bombs, that damn fire destroy something why not let it blow down the walls we have constructed to divide ourselves from each other? Why not love in the most radical way possible?

Me? I am a follower of Jesus. In my estimation the most radical lover, the most radical forgiver, the most genuine, least judgmental person who ever walked this earth.

Sidenote: People always say you should fear his judgement as he will be the judge on the last day. Personally, I think you should be super relieved and overjoyed that he will be your judge. If he is anything like he was on earth (which was the exact representation of who God is), he will find ways to forgive that you cannot even imagine. He will judge with mercy and compassion. This is the man who came to save all. Who died for all. He took the full weight of all the worst the world and humanity has to offer and he absorbed it and he looked it in the face and he pronounced love and forgiveness. BOOM!

If there is anything we must do in the face of inexplicable tragedy, inexplicable betrayal and inexplicable hate in order to be like God it is to absorb all the flying sharp pieces of ugliness and hate and judgement and to fire back love, explode forgiveness and blow people away with inexplicable grace and mercy. It is his way. It is the way of life. Let me tell you, this life is too damn short for me to hold on to the shit. Today I defiantly choose love. Won’t you join me?

Choice
Pieces of you
Free Hugs

 

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A feminist thanks Lady Thatcher

Posted on April 8, 2013 by word of a woman

thatcher House Photo Office/Public Domain

Margaret Thatcher is dead. And whether you agreed with her politics or not, she could not be ignored. I was about 15 or 16 when I first remember taking note of the woman they called the Iron Lady. She was the first woman I remember seeing as a confident, unapologetic, female world leader. Was she imperfect? Of course. Was she quick witted, brilliant and powerful? You bet your ever present strand of pearls she was.

I can still remember seeing her alongside President Reagan at the height of the cold war. She was so poised and confident that she made me think it was possible for women to do anything. It was possible for me to do anything.

Whether you agreed or disagreed with her politically, there is no denying that her presence on the world stage paved the way for women such as Hillary Clinton, President Park Geun-hye of South Korea, Condoleezza Rice, Madeleine Albright, Prime Minister Helle Thorning-Schmidt of Denmark, Prime Minister Yingluck Shinawatra of Thailand, President Dilma Vana Linhares Rousseff of Brazil, Prime Minister Julia Gillard of Australia, Prime Minister Johanna Sigurdottir of Iceland, President Pratibha Patil of India, Chancellor Angela Merkel of Germany, and many others. She had ideas and opinions and she shared them unapologetically. She would not be ignored or disregarded.

So here’s to you Lady Thatcher. Thank you. You were fierce and powerful and I loved you for it. You helped break down walls for women on the world stage and for me in my own mind and for that I am eternally grateful.

May your soul rest in peace.

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The Bible trumps the law of the United States?

Posted on March 28, 2013 by word of a woman

HI heard a conservative radio personality say this yesterday when I turned the dial to am to hear the traffic report. Wait? Whaaaaat???

Now if you are a Christian and I know many of you are, this may sound like a no brainer to you. “Of course the Bible supersedes the law of the United States! Or any country. And it should!”, you say. Well, I respectfully say, it absolutely should not. Before you go spray painting a big ol’ H for heretic on my chest, hear me out…

I do not worship the Bible. I worship the living God. The Bible is here to make known Jesus, and Jesus makes known the Father. The Holy Spirit convicts me of my sin and righteousness and teaches me (among many other things). When you tell me that the Bible supersedes the law of the United States, and that we should strive and work to make “what the Bible says” law. I start breaking out in hives. I mean, as my husband so eloquently asked this morning, “My question to you is, whose interpretation of “the bible and the Word of God” should “trump the laws of this country”? David Koresh’s? Pat Robertson’s? Mine? Yours? And how would this actually work? Congress passes a law, and then we appeal to the Supreme Court because we feel it conflicts with the “bible and the Word of God”? Please explain how you feel this is workable.” Or maybe would we need to set up some sort of Christian Sanhedrin or Sharia Court to hear such matters?

Are your sirens going off yet?

Believe me this isn’t just about gay marriage. It is about some citizens wanting other citizens to be forced to comply to something they feel is “biblical”. I have several problems with this.

  1. Since when do even all Christians agree on what is and is not “biblical” (see Rachel Held Evans take here: http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2012/11/17/my-take-the-danger-of-calling-behavior-biblical/ )
  2. When did Jesus ever say, “Hey guys, let’s force the Romans to do this stuff too! Let’s overthrow this government and put my face on the money!!” ???? Oh wait, he didn’t.
  3. When did Jesus ever force anyone to do his will? or even obey his commandments?
  4. In fact weren’t his harshest words reserved for religious leaders who shut the door in other people’s faces, practiced institutionalized hypocrisy and forced people to carry burdens they would never lift themselves?
  5. Wasn’t our country founded by people who didn’t want to be told what they had to believe or to be forced to worship in a certain way? Weren’t they fleeing places with nationalized religions?
  6. Theocracies are dangerous. My belief is that there will only be one perfect theocracy and Jesus will sit on that throne. No human is fit to rule in his place.
  7. In America we embrace the principles of liberty and justice FOR ALL regardless of religion or race or gender. I am fond of saying it is either liberty and justice for all or it is liberty and justice for none.
  8. There is no unless in the above statements, it doesn’t say…God loves you unless you are not a Christian or God loves you, unless you are gay. Additionally, our pledge of allegiance does not say liberty and justice for all (except gays or except blacks or accept women). It says, with liberty and justice FOR ALL.

After all my lovelies, people have used the Bible to justify all kinds of things I (and I am guessing most of you) find unacceptable today (Slavery, women as property and all manner of other abuses come to mind). The cause du jour for our time happens to be marriage equality. People are fond of saying, “I just believe what the Bible says. It is crystal clear” or they use phrases like “traditional marriage“ . Let’s explore those statements through the following graphics:

tumblr_m80awqPk0Y1qkdvl3o1_1280

traditional-marriage

Many of my Christian friends think that “redefining marriage” will somehow tarnish marriage and make God angry. Listen, my marriage is holy because Kent and I choose to have God in the center of it. It is not made unholy by some other heterosexual couple being married who do not choose to have God at the center of theirs nor by any homosexual couple who do not. (or by others divorce or  infidelity or abuse etc. etc.) Incidentally, I neglected to mention a second ago, the Christian LGBT couples who choose to have God at the center of their relationships. A dizzying prospect? Here, sit down my lovelies, I will get you a cold glass of water.

A homosexual couple (or other “sinful” couple) marrying only affects one marriage, their own. This is the United States. We allow all types of people to get married for all types of reasons who commit all types of sins (I do not believe homosexuality is a sin incidentally), we recognize the marriages of all faith traditions, including non-christians! Gasp!! I just don’t see how or why free people do not understand this concept.

In Galations 5 it says, “For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.” Why, in God’s name, do people want to keep themselves or others under or put themselves or others back under a yoke of slavery when they have been set free? In the U.S we embrace the idea that “all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness“. Neither God (he gives us all free will) nor the U.S. Constitution gives you the right to deny these pursuits to your neighbor. You don’t have to agree with someone in the United States to afford them equal rights. Heck our country was built on that premise and that is why eventually this will prevail IMHO. As my Friend Matthew Paul Turner’s Facebook status read yesterday (and I like to think he is right), “Marriage equality will happen. It’s only a matter of time. This country has proven over and over again that it is indeed capable of changing courses, righting wrongs, reversing bad decisions, and siding with freedom, equality and democracy. We’re sometimes slow to get started. We’re sometimes blinded by our ignorance and fear. But we always eventually see the light. And once that light starts to crack through, you can’t keep it from shining. You can try. But you won’t prevail. Because in America, freedom always wins out in the end. It might take us a little longer to get to the finish line. But we will get there. And we will get there together.”

As far as “making God angry” I don’t believe that anymore but you can read all about that in my earlier post Why was God mad in 1927 or Was Jesus enough?

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Posted in = Equality =, Education, Homosexuality, just life, Politics, Theology, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.
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